Acknowledge
In my dream…
There’s a boy.
A childhood friend, I haven’t seen him in ages.
He has a stack of invitations to a party—his party. The party of the year.
And I’m invited.
When he enters the classroom, he immediately starts handing out invites with a sheet of names on who’s invited, on top—as they circulate, someone from outside my dream-state, yells. Demanding loudly—Who I am.
While I sit in class, enjoying the morning with some girlfriends, I stop—and stall. My name triggering something in me, as I begin to hide. Behind the rows of classmates.
The boy—my childhood friend, stands up, grabs the invites and walks straight up to me to hand me the invitation himself, and as I look through the list to find my name—which I don’t see, scrawled upon the sheet in small handwriting. I start to feel afraid I’m being pranked.
So—I hand them all back, and my childhood friend, stares at me. But, I refuse to look him in the eye. Staring resolutely at my desk.
He looks down at the sheet and sifts through the pile.
My name isn’t there and there is no invite.
When he shouts!
“Brian! Why is Brian on here? I can’t stand him!”
This one’s for me—clearly. When he hands me the invitation with Brian written at the top left hand corner in small handwriting on the card.
I can’t accept this. So, I sit there looking down at my desk ignoring the invitation being held out for me. My friend on the left is excited and tries to get my attention to accept, but I refuse.
Finally—the boy—my childhood friend—sets the invitation on my desk, right in front of me.
Then sits down at the empty table on the opposite side of my friend, ready to start class. He doesn’t move. Not even when the teacher yells at him for disturbing the class and not going back to his seat, and gives him detention.
He sits there. Not moving. Smug, gripping onto the rest of his invitations.
When class ends, he gets up and is followed out by his friends.
But—I need to speak with him. So, I run after him and get his attention. We sit down, and as I take his hands in mine, I hear these words tumble out of me:
“I know you don’t care what you do while you’re here, neither do I. But, that doesn’t mean you need to cause trouble, whether you do a great job, a good job or even a poor one, you only need to worry about passing. Figure out how to pass and do it. Since you’re here, you might as well.”
Then I get up to leave.
—
Back with my girlfriends, they’re excited I’m invited to attend the party of the year. I don’t know what to think.
But—as I finally start to wake, I’m reflecting on what my dream may have been about and discover I need to start loving myself more, and owning who I am; acknowledging who I am.
to Remember and stop running!
To..
Know thyself. —(Greek) Delphic maxim.
The way forward is determined only by you.
Walk on the path meant for you.
All you must do is make the effort, whether great, good or poor, and live your life in the best way you know how, by participating in it.
When life throws you all those curveballs, stay true to yourself.
Even when you have no idea where you’re going or what you’re doing.
Fall, stumble, and get back up! Whether it’s slow or fast—Rise!
Even when you’re stumbling, tripping and falling flat on your face, along the way.
Stumble forwards and figure it out.
Even if…
…you are the only one who may see it.
START STUMBLING FORWARD.
+ Your Wayward, Stumbling, Daughter.